If the physical and mental stability of the father affects the emotional and psychological development of the child, mothers can file a petition for a transfer of custody. Custody rights of fathers Before the 70s, custody was often vested with the mothers following the tender years doctrine . The tender years doctrine presumed that children 13 years and under should be with the mother. On the other hand, others opt to represent themselves. If you are well-versed about the laws in your state involving custody of a child, then you may choose not to hire a lawyer. On the contrary, you need a lawyer if you are not familiar with the state laws governing your case. In the hearings, the judge will hear the arguments from both parties. Legal Custody This custody option gives you the right and responsibility to decide about the upbringing of your child. Legal custody means you can decide for your child in terms of healthcare, schooling, and religious upbringing. Most states allow parents to have joint legal custody of their children, so both parents can make decisions involving the child. If you failed to get sole custody and if, for some reasons, you missed paying child support, these are not enough reasons for you to be deprived of your custody rights over your child. Remember, you do not pay a fee for seeing your child. But, if you have caused harm to your child or to your ex-spouse, chances are you will lose your custody rights permanently. You should know the details about when your ex-spouse was unable to pick up or drop off your kids, when you had the kids, and the events you attended. Be flexible to allow room for adjustments. Manage your schedule so that you won t have a hard time adjusting when your ex-spouse wants to switch weekdays or weekends to spend with your children. Since kids feel embarrassed with all the things that have occurred, discussed and divulged during the child custody case hearing, they will develop extreme shyness that will hamper their social communication skills and may eventually affect his or her overall personality. 4. Low performance in school.