Central to boosting self confidence and positive thinking is the setting of realistic goals that you can reach for while not delimiting your capacities. Normally when we set out to do something we tend to over calculate things and plan to achieve things beyond our present reach. This, we say, would encourage us to work double time. If you make yourself believe in that hatred and you truly are convinced that you are not good enough, you will only get two products- one, genuine hatred and two, lower self esteem. The majority of us are caught unaware with our words. We sometimes fail to check ourselves of the things we are registering in our subconscious mind. These may not actually be said direct on our face but their actions and sneers are enough to convince us that we are losers. Perhaps you live under cold critical eyes that know nothing of imperfection. Or maybe you are the underling of a brother who achieves in school, thus the intense focus on him and frequent disregard for you. If you do not believe in all these then you might come to realize that for your own sake and happiness, you have to encourage yourself and continue the development that has for long been stunted. Developing self confidence is never that hard to do if you truly believe that you can develop. The problem though is that you are creating too many walls against yourself and the development even before you have started your attempts. The thing though is that experience and time are often good teachers, if we truly take them as such. We will live with ourselves for as long as we live with them. Our "self" will accompany us through the course of our life. Somehow, we would learn to live with it. To love it and to accept the truth that many things about it do change and develop. However, human beings are too complex to be understood which place us in an endless circle of understanding and of attempts to understand. It is critical for us to discern our selves not only because this will lead us to better perception for other people but also because it is the foundation on which we can lay our self confidence on.